What I learnt in 2021
Another year done. How did that happen?
It would be all too easy to draw comparisons between 2021 and 2020. There are ongoing political tensions, there have been continued shortages around the world, wide-spread burnout can be felt wherever you go, life just generally feels a bit hectic. Oh, and there’s still that tiny issue of a global pandemic.
We all know it, the dreaded C-word didn’t disappear in a vivid explosion of sparkly fireworks as soon as the clock struck midnight. 2020-too, anyone?
From the outside, it all sounds pretty dismal. This “new normal” certainly has more than its fair share of challenges. But if we look a little closer, we’ve come a long way since 2020.
As we entered 2021, I wrote a post reflecting on the lessons we’d learnt from the year that changed life as we knew it. One lesson I was taking into the new year was from the wonderful Charlie Mackesy:
“One of our greatest freedoms is how we react to things”
In many ways, I’ve been incredibly lucky that my life hasn’t been hugely impacted by the ongoing pandemic. Yes, I’ve had to give up things just like everyone else, but outside of lockdown, life returned to some semblance of normality in 2021.
And yet, when you’re living in a pandemic, it’s difficult to not be overwhelmed. In a world that so often feels loud with a cacophony of panic and fear, an underlying anxiety that any freedoms we are reunited with could all be taken away, and constant warnings that we should all be scared, hurtling towards an unavoidable fiery dumpster of doom, is it any wonder why we still feel a tad bit, “meh”?
So for 2021, in light of Mackesy’s comforting words, I chose to tune out the scaremongering.
I chose to embrace change and lean into the uncertainty.
Or, at least, I tried to muddle through it as best I could.
Here’s what I learnt along the way.
- You are allowed to switch off the news
There seems to be ongoing stigma that if you don’t watch the news, you’re “avoiding the problem”. A belief that change can only happen if you know every bad thing that’s going on around the world. While I agree that it’s important to be informed and not bury your head in the sand, being consumed by all the bad in the world is not healthy, especially when headlines are tailored to play on our emotions, particularly fear and uncertainty. It’s important to remember that there is always an agenda when it comes to most media outlets. “Bad news sells” isn’t a myth.
After 2020 and throughout 2021, I learnt the importance of recognising when it was time for me to take a step back. It’s all too easy to spiral and get sucked into the bad news rabbit hole, and while some may thrive off the chaotic energy that arises from sensationalist headlines and the consequential mob mentality on social media, this highly sensitive soul does not.
When I feel myself spiraling, I simply turn off the news, log off social media, and take the steps I know will help restore my sense of calm and remind me that there is more to life than what the news has chosen to cover. More often than not, this is as simple as stepping outside and meeting a friend or going for a walk in nature. Self-preservation and self-compassion is not something to be shamed and is certainly not something to be sacrificed for fear of judgement that you’re not “doing more”. Of course we should all have causes we care about and try to play our small part in making the world a better place, but not at the detriment of our mental health. Remember, you can’t pour from an empty jug.
2. Never underestimate the value of patience and determination
Towards the end of 2020, I joined an online art school in pursuit of reconnecting with my lost creativity. Many of the tutorials revolved around watercolour, a medium I had always shunned in favour of big dollops of thick, quick-drying acrylic paints. With acrylic, the effects are immediate; with watercolour, it always seemed to end in a wishy-washy mess. However, I was determined to learn a new technique.
I very quickly learnt where I’d been going wrong: watercolour is all about patience. It’s a long, slow process of layering colour upon colour which, without fail, always goes through a stage of looking terrible. A lost cause. In the past, this is where I would have given up.
Had I just kept going, I would have seen the subtle transformation. I would have seen how the light and the dark would combine and contrast, slowly giving depth to a once flat painting. I would have seen how the miniscule details and the seemingly inconsequential brushstrokes would bring the whole thing to life. I would have seen that, had I just had some patience and kept going, it would have all come together in the end.
I’m taking this mindset with me into 2022. While the pandemic has forced us into practicing patience, reluctantly accepting that we need to wait for certain things, impatience is a trait that’s still engrained in our society. We want results straight away. We expect to have everything ready right there in front of us – money, love, fitness, whatever. And we’ve seen the reaction when this isn’t the case – panic, frustration, resignation. If we learnt to wait and trust the process, remembering to pause and look at the bigger picture, we would see that those small, seemingly insignificant steps all add up. And if we chose to just have faith and keep going, even when we can’t see results straight away, then who knows what wondrous things we could achieve.
3. Don’t be afraid to follow your own path
In today’s society, it’s difficult to divert from the norm without facing some sort of skepticism. The set path of education > career > house > marriage > babies > retire is one that’s become the expected route and for lots of people, that way of life is absolutely fine. There’s nothing wrong with it. However, if you choose to mix the order around, or even skip a step or two completely, it can be hard to do so without questions.
I’ve always been proud of my independent, adventurous spirit, yet over the years that side of me has gradually faded while I’ve tried to fit into a 9-5 life that would be met with approval rather than confusion. But while it felt like everyone else was well on their way up the metaphorical ladder of life, gradually ascending one rung after another, I was stuck, stubbornly gripping on to the bottom. Whenever I looked at the next step, I couldn’t ignore the ever-present voice in my head saying that it would take me along a path I didn’t want.
I was so fixated on what I “should” do, so afraid of taking the wrong step, that I completely lost sight of what it was that I actually wanted. My spark fizzled and I checked out from the world around me, trudging through my days on auto-pilot while my mind buzzed with a repetitive soundtrack that surely this couldn’t be it. Surely this wasn’t how life was supposed to feel.
Enough.
While 2020 and 2021 firmly shook me awake from the funk I’d found myself in, 2022 is the year I’m taking action, leaping into the unknown and carving a different path. It might not be the path others would choose but it’s mine.
Not everyone will agree with your choices in life, much the same that you won’t agree with the choices of others. Your path is your own – just because it’s different, doesn’t mean you’ve taken the wrong one. Most words of warning or caution will come from a place of love, but if not, that’s ok, they just aren’t your people. And if things don’t turn out the way you’d hoped, that’s ok too. Nothing in life is permanent. You only need to look at all the people who chose to change their lifestyle during the pandemic, realising the path they’d been following is no longer for them. It might not be easy, but it’s never too late to start again. Just hop right on over onto the next path and be on your merry way.
4. It’s ok to not have a plan – it can even be exciting!
Following on from my previous point, I have no shame in admitting that I don’t have a plan. In the words of Pheobe Buffay, “I don’t even have a pl”. And that’s ok. Find me someone who does. If you do find them, come back to me in a couple of years and let me know if everything went according to said plan.
If we’ve learnt anything over the last couple of years, it’s that things change. Life happens. I don’t think anyone considered a global pandemic when plotting out their 5 year plan. Someone who had their dream job in 2019 was made redundant the next year. Someone who set off on their year-long trip around the world at the beginning of 2020, suddenly found themselves having to come straight back home again a month later. People are divorcing. People are settling down. People are moving houses. People are changing careers. People are reevaluating their lives in ways they hadn’t even considered a couple of years ago.
So really, if we know that things can change so drastically so quickly, why are we putting so much pressure on ourselves to have it all figured out? One life-changing outlook I stumbled across in 2021 was an idea that not knowing is actually a good thing. The unknown might create fear but it also creates curiosity. If we’re still figuring things out, it means we’re still exploring, we’re still learning and we’ve still got so much to discover. There’s a lot of comfort in that. Rather than hiding from the unknown, imagine how much more colourful life would be if we instead leant into it. And besides, wouldn’t life be boring if we knew everything already?
5. “Change is coming with or without us on board – it’s easier to ride the train than be dragged behind it”
And that brings me to my final lesson. While 2020 and the years before it were filled with self-doubt and fear of failure, I decided that in 2021 I would push myself and embrace change rather than resist it.
In January, I began selling my art after years of believing that they weren’t worthy of anything.
In June, I decided to challenge myself and walk 200 miles of the South West Coast Path, spending 3 weeks hiking and camping alone along the Cornish coast.
In September, I moved into a flat with people I didn’t know in an area I’d only visited once before just weeks after seeing an advert online.
And in October, I handed in my notice at work.
A few years ago, I would have talked myself out of doing any of the above and stayed safely in my comfort zone.
The self-doubt and negative chatter is still there. Every challenge I’ve set myself has never been easy and I always have moments where I believe it’s not possible. That I’m making a mistake. But bravery isn’t about being fearless. It’s about feeling the fear and doing it anyway. This year, I will continue to be brave.
So 2022, let’s see what you have in store.
It would be silly of me to say this will be my year – I won’t have learnt anything from the last 2 years if I did! But while the world still has its challenges and things are still uncertain, I’m feeling hopeful. Not because of what I may achieve this year but because of the changes I can feel within myself.
I have no idea where I’ll be this time next year. That thought used to fill me with dread. Now it excites me. Of course I will always have my moments of doubt and worry, but whenever I can feel that negative self-talk start to rear its ugly head, I remind myself that we don’t indulge in that anymore and I wave it away with a smile on my face. And that, my friends, is progression.
2020 was the year that shook me awake, but 2021 was the year that helped reignite my spark. And while it’s far from a blazing inferno, I’m excited to see where that little flame will take me in 2022.
