What 2020 Taught Us
Oh, 2020.
Where do I even begin?
Remember the Australian bushfires in January? How they felt like the catastrophic event that would define the rest of the year? If only we knew.
Back in March, when Coronavirus was no longer just that mysterious virus on the other side of the world and rumours of lockdowns and quarantine suddenly felt very real, I was in the office speaking to one of my colleagues. “I feel like we’re stuck in a washing machine being thrown round and round,” I remarked.
10 months later and the washing machine cycle still hasn’t stopped.
Needless to say, 2020 has been testing.
A global pandemic. Closed borders. Plans cancelled. Families and friends forced apart. Jobs lost, dreams lost, lives lost.
George Floyd. Police brutality. Systemic failures.
Conspiracy theories. Protests. Riots. Trump. Brexit.
At a time when we have all had one thing in common, it’s often felt like we’ve never been so divided.
It’s been overwhelming.
With the longest-yet-somehow-fastest year finally at an end, I know that we’re all looking forward to drawing a line beneath the shitshow that has been 2020. There’s a small glimmer of light shining at the end of the tunnel and everyone is desperate to get there, myself included.
But while we’re looking forward to the future, I don’t want to forget 2020.
I often remind myself of a quote that was circulated on social media during the middle of lockdown:
We’ve all suffered and lost something this year. For some, it was a loved one. For others, it was the simple freedom of living our lives the way we want.
But we’ve also had the opportunity to learn so much from this year.
We’ve learnt how to use Zoom. We’ve learnt how to bake banana bread. We’ve learnt that we never want to hear the word “unprecedented” again.
We’ve learnt about resilience, strength, determination, patience. We’ve learnt how to adapt and keep going when times get tough. We’ve learnt what it’s like to feel honest gratitude for the things we have and not take anything for granted. We’ve learnt the importance of staying connected, of looking out for ourselves, of looking out for each other.
We’re all hoping for a better year in 2021 but that can’t happen if we don’t use the knowledge we’ve gained in 2020. So as we enter a new year with fireworks and quiet celebration, I’ll be carrying a few lessons with me.
Lesson 1. Appreciate the small things in life – they make a difference
Appreciating the small things is a phrase that’s been tossed around for years but it’s one that I’ve often struggled to follow. I never wanted to settle for the small things when life was so full of amazing, incredible, sparkly BIG things. That is until the small things were all we had.
A walk outside in the fresh morning air. The sunlight filtering through the trees. The calming sounds of nature. A fresh delivery of flowers. A tidy room. Slow, lazy starts in the morning. Cuddles with the dog in the evening. Being absorbed in a good book. Being absorbed in the process of putting paintbrush to paper. Honest, heartfelt conversations with my friends and family.
When everything else has been put on pause, these are the things that have kept me going this year. These are the things that matter. They’re the simple pleasures that bring me joy and the things I hope to do more of in 2021.
Lesson 2. Don’t believe everything you think
Without the distraction of our normal, busy lives, we’ve been forced to turn our focus inwards. Sometimes, what we find isn’t always nice.
My mind has been far from kind to me this year. It took me to some pretty bleak places and brought up a lot of things that I’ve been trying to push down for years. But I’ve learnt that just because I think it, it doesn’t make it true.
Our doubts and fears don’t define us. We may have days where it feels like nothing will ever be ok again, that we’ll never be happy again. We may have days where it feels like everyone is doing better than us, that we’re not doing enough, that we’ll never achieve anything. But these thoughts are just that. Thoughts. We just have to choose to not believe them and remember that, like dark grey clouds in the sky, they will pass.
For far too long I’ve listened to my self-criticism and let it overwhelm me. I’m grateful that 2020 finally gave me the time and space to see the damage I’ve been doing to myself and realise I deserve better. We all deserve to live with kindness and self-compassion, so in 2021 I’m going to continue to challenge the negative self-talk and prove to myself that I am so much more than my thoughts.
Lesson 3. “One of our greatest freedoms is how we react to things” – Charlie Macksey
One of the most difficult things to accept in 2020 has been the loss of control. It’s been a hard pill to swallow when we’ve been taught that if we work hard enough and try hard enough, then we can do anything we want and control the direction our lives take.
This year has shown this isn’t the case. On the 31st December of 2019, when we were busy making our new years resolutions and picturing the next year ahead, none of us could have predicted how things would turn out. So many plans and timelines have completely gone out the window. But life has always had too many curve balls for it to go the way we want it to, even without a global pandemic thrown into the mix.
As we leave 2020 behind us, I’m learning to embrace the unknown journey and roll with the punches. We can’t control what happens around us but we can control how we choose to react it. Life is what we make of it. We can choose to let it overwhelm and destroy us or we can choose to accept what is. We can choose to get back up when life knocks us down, we can choose to keep going, and we can choose to keep faith that things will get better.
Lesson 4. What you do makes a difference – it’s up to you what kind of difference you want to make
As the well known saying goes, “in times of darkness, look for the heroes”. We’ve seen a lot of those in 2020.
Doctors, nurses, teachers, scientists, supermarket employees, care workers. The 400,000 people who signed up to the NHS volunteer scheme in 2 days in March. The friends who picked up the phone and sent flowers and cards and letters to their loved ones. The people who checked in on their elderly and vulnerable neighbours when they couldn’t leave the house. The list goes on.
These are the people who have been determined to help others and make sure we all get through this pandemic. These are the people who chose to make a difference for the better. In times of adversity, these are the people who chose kindness.
This year has shown us the positive difference that we are all capable of making, whether it’s helping someone smile, donating to charity, volunteering our time, supporting a local business, or looking after our environment. It’s this caring mindset that will ensure our future is better and brighter, far beyond 2021.
Lesson 5. Life’s a journey – we’re all still finding our way
When we went into our first lockdown in Spring and I was furloughed from work, everything I had built my identity around over the past couple of years very quickly disappeared. My social life, my love of travel, my job, my relationship. I was suddenly faced with an overwhelming realisation – without these things, I had absolutely no idea who I was anymore. Cue an existential crisis.
While I’m ending 2020 in a much better place than I started it, I’m still trying to piece myself back together. I may not be where I thought I’d be at this stage of my life and I may still have no idea what the next step will be, but that’s ok.
It doesn’t matter that I’m still figuring things out. I’m not sure I’ll ever figure things out. But rather than letting this thought overwhelm me, I’ve realised that the more I continue to search, the more I continue to learn and grow. Life is never straightforward and 2020 has shown that we can’t be certain of our future. We just have to take it all day by day and realise it’s the chances we take, the mistakes we make and the times we get lost and stray from the path that define our journey.
Here’s looking at you, 2021.
2020 has finally come to an end, but the world won’t suddenly go back to normal with the new year. The pandemic is far from over and everything still looks very uncertain.
Perhaps 2021 will be the year we’re dreaming of. Perhaps not. We don’t know. What will be will be. But we’ve made it through all our worst days so far and whatever 2021 throws at us, we can get through it together with kindness, patience and determination.
So while I’m nervous about what may lie ahead, there is hope on the horizon, and I’m choosing to look to the future with cautious optimism.
